The Others Who Help Me Mother

 

Parenting in isolation is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do during this time. I have always relied on those around me to parent my children. And without the contact or intersection of other people’s lives with my children’s lives I have felt a huge burden that the parenting rests solely on me and my husband’s shoulders.
Over the past few weeks, while we have been in a stay at home status, I have been able to reflect on the many people who have impacted my children’s lives. The way that little pieces of advice or huge chunks of time given to me and/or my children had pivoted my children toward the people they are today.

IMG_5012.JPG

This began early on. Before I was even a parent of my own there was the impact of Jan Gohring. Jan was one of those people who was teaching me to parent before I even had the opportunity to parent my own. Her impact carried over into the very first months of life with my firstborn. I could go on and talk about my children’s preschool teachers and how they affirmed my own belief that my children were brilliant. But I’m not going to bother you with the details of their lives from birth until now but rather I want to pinpoint some specific people along the way.
Please know that every person in my children’s lives has had an impact and what they are becoming. Here, in this space, I’m choosing to is highlight some specific people, who without them, I would not be able to be the mother I am today.
No photo description available.Amy Ebert, you helped me navigate just as much as I helped you navigate being a teacher and mom at the same time. You also loved my children as fiercely as you love your own. That was so clear to me when you became my son‘s kindergarten teacher. Your zest for life and your loving manner passed directly to my son who is very intelligent, and that’s not just me saying it, I know you agree. You also saw that he was not necessarily the school loving type and set him on a positive path of learning.
It’s about my friend and colleague Lauri Ward, who when she saw me in tears and knew that I knew something was not right in regards to the way that Emmarie was grasping learning to read and took action. She took her skills as a diagnostician and her passionate love for me and my daughter and took Emmarie under her wing. She tutored her through some of the hardest parts of her first and second-grade years learning to read. At the same time encouraged me to keep seeking support for Emmarie.
Image may contain: one or more people and indoor
Then there is Rene Egle who saw Kristopher‘s natural inclination to code and tinker in robotics.
Lego Robotics.JPGInstead of having him repeat the same summer camp for K-2, summer to summer, she let him after second-grade jump up to the third through fifth-grade camp. Later that provided him an opportunity to be part of a robotics after school curricular activity that was designed for fourth and fifth graders. Thank you, Rene, you instilled in him the love of coding, robotics, and problem-solving which will most likely lead into his life career.
Courtney Clark, in just a short period of time we were together you loved Emmarie fiercely, help me parent in a world where we are still trying to figure out our place as females in this world. You showed her that you could love God, be a woman of God, and lead a congregation.
Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, hat and outdoor
Pamelynn and Mike Nennmann, you two have loved my children as if they were your own. Sometimes people have even mistaken my children as your own children. Pamelynn thank you for coming alongside me and helping me parent through the learning struggles Em had and show me through your own experiences how you struggled with the same challenges. I couldn’t have done it without you and I probably would have left her with more scars than I care to say.Image may contain: 6 people, including Avery Nennmann and Alyssa Biles, people standing
Michael thank you for loving Kristopher uniquely and in some ways taking him on as your own. The two of you share similarities and an intriguing way of thinking. The way that you and Kris think and love fiercely but quietly, how you just get one another is something I continue to respect and admire.
Kurt Glenn, such a short time we have known you, but what an impact. You quickly recognized we were way over our head as parents with Kristopher’s desire to build his own computer. You stepped in helped him making an impact we yet know the result. Helping him build his own computer, generously gifting him equipment that he needed so he could continue the project, I know he will forever look at you with awe and respect. While most people in IT are not seen as people with capes, you are a hero with a cape in our family.
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, text Laura Grimes, your arrival on the scene has been extremely recent, but your impact… there are no bounds on time with what you have done for Emmarie. In a short time, you have helped her rediscover herself again. I had felt like the Emmarie before moving to Arkansas had been lost in Texas. You have found her for us. Thank you for what you’re doing and what you will be doing to help her forge her path for her future.
There are so many others that are not mentioned here that have impacted my children in numerous ways. I know that Eric and I are forever grateful for those that have come into our children’s lives and honestly helped our job as parents be a little easier.
I want to encourage parents and mothers out there if you think you can do it alone, reconsider. Your children’s lives will be so much richer if others are invited in as partners and enhancers to the work you are already doing. If you are a soon to be parent/mother, I encourage you to be welcome in those around you who you see the value and wisdom they bring to the world around them and to you.
I have always used this filter after becoming a parent when it comes to those I hold closest in my life: “if you can’t love my children fiercely then your friendship is probably not going to be as deep with me as it could be. A friendship with me means being part of our family and loving my children. I also promise, in the same way you love my children fiercely, I will love your children fiercely, fur babies or walking on two legs. I promise you I will give the same care and respect to you and your children as you have given to mine.”
I know this, because I know without others, I could not be the mother I aspire to be.
Happy Mother’s Day, 2020.

Why I Share the Happy…

We-cannot-selectively-numb-emotions-when-we-numb-the-painful-emotions-we-also-numb-the-positive-emotions.-5

Paler, J. (2019). 52 Brené Brown quotes that will inspire, encourage and empower you. [online] Hack Spirit. Available at: https://hackspirit.com/brene-brown-quotes-that-will-inspire-encourage-and-empower-you/ [Accessed 5 Jul. 2019].

Social Media.

It has been part of many of our lives for over a decade. Some of us love it, some of us hate it, and some of us love to hate it. Whatever your feelings on social media or what platform you prefer, it is the mode for communicating.

I recently was listening to a radio personality that was sharing statistics of newly married couples and the impact of an Instagram obsession on their honeymoon experience. In some cases, the obsession led to the marriage ending upon the return of the couple from their honeymoon. Presenting a certain “life” or “story” on social media has become sometimes “too good to be true” and gotten in the way of just doing life.

Then there is the other side of things. The ambiguous posts by people ending or starting with “you know who you are…”; I try not to give these posts much attention or weight, but sometimes I find myself wondering if I have done something to the owner of the post. Posts like this thrive on indirect shaming.

A few years ago I wanted to change my own mindset and approach to social media. I loved that it allowed for me to connect with friends and family that I had not seen in years and geographically was likely not to see them any time soon. I did notice, due to the “time-hops” and “on this day” that sometimes the “memories” I had were brash moments of negative-ness. It saddened me.

At this point, I had participated in the November daily posts of thankfulness two years in a row. I had noticed that each of those months I ended in better spirits. About this same time I stumbled onto the website 100happydays.com and embraced the challenge. I began to see a huge change in my attitude and noticed I was looking for the little moments to share and celebrate each day both for myself and share on social media.

Screen Shot 2019-07-04 at 7.22.53 PMIt was such a huge success, I did it twice. I then decided to finish out 2018 counting down to December 31st. This year I am focusing on gratitude every day of 2019 using the #wilsonmoments2019.

This approach has also helped me with capturing memories and events in the life of myself and my family (fur babies included). Another layer to this was that last year I discovered Chatbooks. It pulls directly from my Instagram feed and is efficiently scrapbooking our family’s life.

I was an avid scrapbooker up until ten years ago. I still love to scrapbook, however, I am so far behind in capturing my family’s memories (Kritter is still 3 years old in my scrapbooks and EmBug just finished Kindergarten- in reality, they are 14 years old and 16 years old respectively). I am so thankful that Chatbooks gives me the opportunity to do this in a great way. It has been so fun to get the little 6×6 books in the mail, and when the pictures and text celebrate the good and happy it makes the sad times seem less sad.Screen Shot 2019-07-04 at 7.57.19 PM

I appreciate what focusing on the good/happy/gratitude with my social media has done for me. It has also helped me to see things positively and celebrate others accomplishments both big and small. Some may say my social media isn’t real life, and they are entitled to their opinion. What I say is that it is the best version of my real life. It is focusing on the cream that rises to the top in spite of circumstances, the presence of God in the messiest of situations, and the connection and love of a family even in heartache. I don’t post for others, I post to grow my own heart in gratitude. However, I do hope that in some way “why I share happy” brings joy to others.

If you read this all the way through, thank you and I hope you have your own ways to help you focus on the good/happy/gratitude in your heart.

Blog Categories

The Wilson Family Stories from the Razorback Ranch

Follow The Wilson Family Stories from Razorback Ranch on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 4,075 other followers

Stay in touch:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kirsten.wilson.710
An Ethical Island

How to Teach Without a Lecture and other fun

JLV College Counseling

Free college admissions and financial aid information and advice

21 st Century Educational Technology and Learning

K12 educational transformation through technology

Connection of Dots

Stories about people and happenings and what they might mean.

Thrasymakos

True, he said; how could they see anything but the shadows if they were never allowed to move their heads?

Exploring Authentic Learning

Stories of family, faith, celebration, struggle and humor... #hogfan style.

DCulberhouse

Engaging in conversation around Education and Leadership

Always Learning!

Sharing education-related thoughts, insights & reflections

PASSION...PURPOSE...PRIDE

Stories of family, faith, celebration, struggle and humor... #hogfan style.

Unpretentious Librarian

Stories of family, faith, celebration, struggle and humor... #hogfan style.

The Sarcastic Socrates

Sarcasm and Politics

thesocialworkpad

INNOVATIVE IDEAS INCORPORATING TECHNOLOGY INTO SOCIAL WORK PRACTICE

Inside Education, Outside the Box!

Helping educators think differently about how schools and districts operate.

Cool Cat Teacher BlogCool Cat Teacher Blog

Stories of family, faith, celebration, struggle and humor... #hogfan style.

Engaged and Relevant

Just another WordPress.com site