The last few weeks have been a disruption for us all. Some have called it “The Great Pause of 2020.” Others, there has been no pause, it has been a high-speed chase to do their jobs, continue to care for their families, now at home ALL OF THE TIME, and somehow process all that is happening. For the healthcare workers, the public safety personnel, the educators transitioning to remote learning, the parents doing their best to do school at home for the first time, the grocery workers, and on, and on, and on, there hasn’t been a pause. For those in situations of that high-speed chase, it seems more like “The Great Disruption of 2020.” I hear you, I see you, and I am you.
Today I was looking through the glass back door of my house into my back yard. I have three dogs and this door is used frequently by the entire family. To say the door was filthy would be an understatement (I am not overly type A about keeping the windows clean). I did scrounge up the window cleaner, grabbed the paper towel roll, and went to work. What I noticed as I cleaned is that the top of the glass pane had very little dirt. However, as I worked my way down to the bottom, the paper towel became filthy.
I started thinking about the conversations I have had with friends lately. The many posts I have read. The social media posts that have been reassuring to me. In every situation, those individuals that encouraged me, helped me to see through the confusion, and work through sadness or feeling lost, I was encouraged. They helped me to symbolically lift my chin.
There is much right now that if you are looking down or comparing our own truth to someone else’s can make you seem less than. You may feel like the bottom of the glass full of dirt that can not let the light in and causes you to become downcast. Even more so it can cause you to isolate and let our own worst thoughts pull you under. However, if we look up and look through the top of the glass free of dirt and clear to let the light in we can begin to see out, and see beyond to the beauty that God wants us to see.
I do not make light that we still look down. We still become overwhelmed by our own “dirty bottom of the glass .” However, we have been given one another. Reach out to the team of your choosing and chant to one another “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose!” God made us for fellowship so that we look up, look through the clear clean glass, and are filled with His light!
I also want to leave with this. You can have two opposite feelings within yourself. Recently a post was shared on a Teacher Group page that encouraged me. I was really struggling with can I have conflicting feelings about what is going on, can I have hope, while still feeling out of control? Can I feel like I am confident my work is doing great things for others while feeling my parenting and quality time with my children is lacking? What I decided is, YES. I am sharing the image from the post that was shared with my group in case there are others that it can help.
I am thankful for those in my team who have helped me lift my chin, look up through the clear glass and see the light. I hope that you have the same. If you don’t think you have a team, please reach out. If not to me through the comments, to someone in your circle of co-workers, relatives, or acquaintances. In this time most of us are acutely aware of how we need each other and are more than willing to support others.
There is a birthday coming up very soon in our household. It celebrates the life of our biggest hero, hardest worker, and anchor… known as Dad by the kiddos and “George” by me. Eric is finishing out his forties in fine fashion.
I am not sure how this move from feeling you are perceived as youngin’ to being mistaken as a wise old codger happens for others. I thought it would be gradual and slow and not slap you in the face.
Moving in any stage of life is a challenge. Once the basic needs are taken care of and you are able to locate the grocery store, a couple of restaurants, the nearest gas stations and have settled into a routine, the next need comes into play. The need for community and friends. When I was growing up and moved, you were thrown into a pool of peers, almost like forced socialization. When I moved as a newlywed we had the freedom with time and flexibility to meet other young couples. As we transitioned into the early stages of family and moved, again, that stage of life seemed to naturally create an opportunity for friends, motherhood is a time of desperation that brings you together with others struggling in similar life journeys. Early stages of parenthood gave way to connections when the kids entered elementary school and often crossed over into the nearby church we attended. So making friends, while sometimes daunting, in each situation had an obvious “entry point.”
reach out to the “new people” in your path and invite them into your “circle.” This may not improve my current friend situation, but it makes me hopeful. After all, I am a good friend material who wouldn’t want to be my friend!
The discussion of our one word was much less of a process this year. I sent a group text asking for the three words that each person felt was a word that would guide us through 2019. The two words that were common among us four were FINISH and BALANCE. After a little discussion, it was agreed that BALANCE, if we worked toward, would also address the term FINISH.
We have so many things coming toward us and we are planning for in 2019. It is no accident that BALANCE was our #oneword for 2019. Honestly, it will be the greatest challenge for me. Perhaps as the coordinator and chief scheduler of all events and logistics, this may have been decided on as more a hope for me, than a need for our family as a whole.
Twenty years ago this upcoming fall Eric came home to our 1930’s eight hundred square foot salt box two bedroom home in Ozark, Arkansas and told me he was being transferred with Cargill, Inc. to Waco, Texas. He, being a native Texan, was excited. I, on the other hand, a native Arkansan, was not.
It wasn’t until we took our family trip starting New Year’s Day 2018 (a new Christmas gift tradition for the kids), that the uninterrupted family time could provide opportunity for organic conversations and discussions to take place helping us select our word. It was on third day of our trip to California, as we drove through the vastness of the Joshua Tree National Park that we began to discuss what the Wilson Family’s “One Word” would be. To keep each individual’s ideas respected and honest, each family member was to submit three words to me. After some time given to ponder, each family member submitted their three words.
It has been a while. There has been a lot that has happened in the last five months. So much so that I am not sure even where to start. We have seen God work in amazing ways. However, it doesn’t go without saying there have been trials;To the point that I have looked forward to the steady, regular chore of doing the laundry.
The Wilson Family Stories from Razorback Ranch 